It is now approaching 7 am on a cold winters morning in Alice. It has been a long night and we are looking forward to the dawn so we can finally escape from the motel room that time forgot. If you are ever desperate enough to book a room in this dump, then consider camping in the park under the stars instead. Let us describe the experience for you. First thing that hits you is the location and the money spent on security with high steel electric gates controlled by a code on a key pad and the building activity that is still ongoing. There is no parking near the room except in front of a smelly overflowing dumpster On first opening the door to our room we noticed damage as evidence of a break in attempt with a jemmy bar. Memories of Roger Millers song King of the Road jumps in to the frontal lobes and won’t go away. Then the musty air quality hit us. It was getting cooler as evening approached so we tried the air con. Some of you may be old enough to remember those noisy vibrating self contained units that told you just where the compressor was. This one was old when the millennium rolled around and by the state of the filter hasn’t been serviced at least since then. The din took some getting used to but the stale dusty smell coming out of it was something else. We had a choice though. Use it or expire from hypothermia under two blankets and no doona in the sub zero night time temperatures here. Settle down for a description of the rest of this place as it may take some time. The curtains are about 40 cm narrower than the window so forget privacy. Three power outlets are in dangerous broken condition. Some don’t work even if you are game enough to use them. Just don’t do it with wet hands. The smoke alarm is ancient and a newer one has been removed. This is probably illegal. Two of the lights are hanging off the wall. The toilet is filthy The exhaust fan in the bathroom is choked with dust The grouting around the sink is missing or coming away and not hygienic The towel rail bracket is broken There are holes in the carpet The main light fitting is filthy and contains bugs probably now extinct. The kettle is also extinct. The light comes on but it has simply ceased to be. We escaped to town for dinner and on our return the security gate opened half way after entering the code then started to shut again. Nobody to inform as the receptionist had left the building at the dot of five and wouldn’t return until 9 the next day. Whoever owns or runs this dump certainly doesn’t live here. In desperation one of us tried holding a hand over the sensor while entering the code then holding it there while the other drove through. That worked, but if it hadn’t we would have been out of options. I have pictures of all of these defects and a sound recording of the air con in case nobody believes us and today we will report this place to the local authorities. It is a complete joke that should be shut down. the Mercure looks good. Enjoy