HOTEL NO

My 7 year old and I stayed for a Mummy daughter surprise this week and I'm speechless! I was nervous reading negative reviews and we usually stay at Crown hotels so wasn't sure if I had made the right choice. From before our stay with the wonderful Tara offering to have a kids tent set up to surprise my daughter, to the fun little emails leading up, I was getting excited. On the day the car park attendant was so lovely and welcoming as were the Cafe staff. Once we got in I actually couldn't work out which one ours was but saw the kids tent set up through the window. Opening the door to our airstreamer we were blown away! The pink was so cool, the kids set up was beautiful and everything was such high quality. Sheridan towels, amazing sheets and the coolest free mini bar! Even got a lovely hand written note and a bottle of Yarra Valley Rose to toast the Matildas that night. It was so so clean inside and regarding some of the reviews, surely people realise that they are 50+ year old airstreamers and on a CBD rooftop, the windows etc can't be immaculate but it adds to the charm The rooftop had fun games that my daughter loved and the breakfast box from downstairs was absolutely amazing. I honestly can't rave about our experience enough and my daughter has begged for us to stay again, but next time to upgrade to the airstreamer with benefits. Thanks for giving us the most magical, unique Melbourne experience. Don't be fooled by Hotel No, it's not a hotel, it's actually more special! So many extras included for a great price!

The instructions for keys and car retrieval was not very clear and we got very frustrated. A key box at the top of the stairs , a key box in the car park. A little testy .

Coolest staycation one can do in Melbourne. What an idea putting airstreams on a roof top. Top 😀 The whole experience is fun. How to get in, free parking, free mini bar, the set up of the area, decoration and the shower. Yes what a great shower. Many hotels don’t have such good shower. Absolute worth doing it. We loved every second.

I have read so many reviews on this experience and I was shocked to see so many negative! We booked online as is the only way to book and then I called the next day to see if it was ok for 2 cars to park….not a problem at all…midweek no charge! Hotel No make it quite clear this is an experience, it’s about discovery and it was soooo much just working out how to get in! Once we stepped out to the vans it was clean, fun and quite private even though the communal area is in the middle, we only saw 2 other guests and I believe they were sold out! Inside our airstream I was again blown away it was spotlessly clean, airy and much bigger than I thought. The little things…mini bar that you can add to….the size of the bathroom and the shower…..it was heaven! This is not for anyone wanting a 5 star hotel but for people who want an experience and something a bit different…highly recommended.

After booking my parents in for their 50th wedding anniversary - they were excited to see a spa photographed on the Facebook page and assumed this would be useable for all guests.. during their stay they found the spa empty and were told it was only for “certain” guests and that they should have looked up the inclusions for their room on the website prior to their surprise wedding anniversary stay! Pathetic experience. Not worth the huge cost. Rude staff. Being nice is free guys!

The NO in their name tells you all you need to know. Horrible customer service, have been excited to come here for years and has turned out to be one of the worst hotel experiences. Melbourne has some wonderful hotels with amazing staff, book one of those instead.

Minibar included, but no chocolate. Make the chips smaller and include at least 2 small chocolates. Bed, pillows, blanket all good. But difficult getting on the bed. Please add a step to make it easier to get on the bed. Please add light switches near the bed. Some foldable wall hooks for hanging clothes would be useful too. No physical keys – but (Bluetooth key) was unreliable at the start. We were given a key but it never worked. Understand you are trying to be different but should not trade off convenience. Keypad entry might be a good compromise. Nice freebies, coffee downstairs good, please make it a bigger cup and a double-walled one (is good for hot drinks) esp. we need to use the other hand for unlocking doors. Better yet, provide a small basket for carrying all breakfast stuff from café downstairs. IPAD and Netflix access good. More cushions needed to make sitting and watching more comfortable. Bathroom nice and clean, water pressure good. But drainage in sink and shower areas bad. No hair dryer, no tissue box, they’re commonly provided. Shampoo/conditioner blocks were unique but only 1 soap ¼ the size of shampoo. With Covid, antibacterial soap is best. Mystery check-in/etc may need to be ‘re-designed’. I helped guests in 2 other airstreams and cleaner helped us when we arrived. Maybe give more hints about this mystery so your customers look forward to it as a real adventure cos it’s no fun for everyone if you have to explain it after the frustration.

Love the location, love the concept and possibilities. It was a cold night and the airstream left a little warmth to be desired, but overall, I’d give it 4/5 rating.

Tara was so helpful and lovely. Great location. The trailer was quite basic and needed a good airing. Unfortunately it didn’t meet our expectations and we left after a night. This is no reflection at all on the staff, who were excellent.